Shine Your Way

  Another post inspired by a song- "Shine Your Way" by Owl City. I love this song, and it reminds me so much of my Toli, because that is how he goes through life, shining his way. There are some people that can't handle his shine, however. We were in Jackson last Sunday and stopped at Wendy's for dinner. We had had a long day, going on a hike past Inspiration Point at Jenny Lake. It was made longer by the heroics of my awesome husband and teenage son. There was an autistic boy who had gotten away from his 70-year-old grandparents, and just kept going on the trail. We were hiking just behind the grandparents, and they kept asking the people coming down if they had seen the boy. They would say, "Yeah, he's a long way up," or, "He's got some legs under him." It was obvious that the boy didn't know how far away from family he was getting, and didn't understand the consequences of that. When it became clear that he was in trouble, Bryce and Oliver took off running for him. After two miles, and passing a couple of forks in the trail, they found him. He was fine, and having a good hike. Bryce tried to teach him how important it was to stay with family, and hopefully that will stick with him. They brought him back to his grandparents, who were so grateful. Bryce and Oliver are the type of men that run to help, and I'm so proud of them for that. We also see deeds like that as putting money in the Karma bank-  that when the time comes for us to need help with Scout, there will be someone there to do it. We were feeling good about life after that. Scout had a good day. He was tired and hungry, but doing well. Then came Wendy's. 
  We were happy about how well Scout was doing at the restaurant, especially given how tired and hungry he was. He walked around in circles, but wasn't touching anyone, grabbing food or butts, or getting in people's faces (Yay!). He made a couple of noises, but not his Tarzan yell, and he tried hard to be quieter than usual. One noise came out because he got the wrong toy in his kids meal and got in line to ask for a different one. He was getting anxious waiting, and let off some steam (again, more quiet than usual, and short-lived). After that, he ate some more, did more laps around the restaurant, and came and sat on the table next to us. He was just sitting there when a random customer came up to him, grabbed him by the arm, got in his face, and yelled at him to get down and be good. I stepped in and told her to back off. She told me that I needed to control my kid because he had been running around screaming. The Mama Bear in me wanted to rip her head off, but needed to comfort my little one instead. Encounters like that shake Scout up and hurt him immensely. I took him and started getting ready to go, while my Hero, Bryce, stepped in to "educate" this woman. He tried to explain to her that Scout has autism, and she said that didn't matter, he should be able to behave appropriately in public. No matter what Bryce said, telling her about the extended seizure that damaged his brain, the tumors and surgery, and the seizures, she kept saying the same thing, adding that "Even mental retards can behave in public." She told Bryce she is a pediatric nurse, which he didn't believe. He told her that asking a kid with autism to behave perfectly in public was like asking a paraplegic to get up and walk. She stuck to her guns and her flawed opinion, saying she had had a bad day, and Scout had made it worse. I guess it didn't matter to her the bad day she had just given to a five-year-old with special needs. 
  Luckily, as we left, we saw that the truck the woman had come in had a sign on it advertising her business, Nature's Garden, a landscaping company that services the Jackson area. As we followed the trail with her name, Chris Shirk, we found that she is a nurse, and works as a case manager for the Senior Center of Jackson Hole, working with the elderly and disabled. I got very sick to my stomach when I found this out. I called her supervisor, verified it was the same woman, and proceeded to tell her about her behavior. She said she'd never seen anything like that from Chris, but I told her if she felt fine acting like that in public, it's concerning how she would act in private with a patient, especially given her attitude towards those with disabilities. I don't think the supervisor will do anything, but I'm not done yet. I plan to make sure everyone in her area knows how she feels about and treats people with special needs. We tried contacting the police there, who said that it was horrible, but legally they could do nothing. We felt like it was assault when she put her hands on him and got in his face, but it doesn't fit the legal definition. For someone with autism, any touch can be an assault, but for her to grab him and yell in his face, that is the same as a slap. 
  It is heartbreaking to think that for the rest of his life Scout will encounter people like this. We are so blessed to have amazing people in our lives, that care about him and are patient with him. When we go to the store, all the people that work there know him and go out of their way to say hi and are genuinely kind to him. We forget how lucky we are with the people in his life until we are faced with ignorant and bigoted people like Chris. I cry just thinking of the things Scout may face in the future, especially things I'm not there to stop or comfort him after. I hope when those times come, we have enough in the Karma bank, and that someone will step up and stand up for him. 
  As I said before, Scout shines his way through life. He lights up everywhere he goes. His smile can move mountains. I know he will always have that shine, and I depend on it. I need it like flowers need the sun. I am blessed to have that, to have him. 
                      "Now I can see you are the one sent here to show me the way.
                            All of our tears will dry faster in the sun. Shine your way."

  For the people who think Scout's shine is a little to bright to handle, they can either look away, or go blind! Or, they could look, see, and grow...
To hear the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJDdHn1S9eU