Communication is architecture

  There are some lyrics in a Poe (the singer) song that I like: "Communication is not just words, communication is architecture." I recently gained a new insight into those words, thanks to my Tiny Toli. He has always loved to build with blocks. He would spend more time doing that than anything, sometimes an hour at a time, and would build these amazing cities. There were a few times that what he built was a little unnerving for me. Each building was exactly the same, and each was exactly the same distance from the others. I looked at his creation in awe, wondering how he could be so precise, so purposeful in what he did.
  I saw another aspect of his deliberate building the other day when he came and asked Valkyrie to play with him. He tries really hard to play with other kids, but doesn't seem to understand play the way they do. I am so encouraged by his constant attempts, though. Valkyrie went into his room with him, where he had dumped out the Lincoln Logs and toy cars (which he has always played with by lining up and putting into patterns). I told Valkyrie before she went in to let Scout tell her what to play. It's usually her leading him, telling him his part and what to do. He doesn't understand pretend play, as is common in autism. So I wanted to see what he would do if he were the leader. I watched quietly and secretly in the doorway. He had set up a little building out of the logs, with cars lined up in patterns in and around it. He started trying to explain to Valkyrie what it was, talking about the cars with words like "he" and "she". He had a hard time explaining, and Valkyrie had a hard time understanding, how his "game" was supposed to work. After a bit, things went back to how they usually are, with Valkyrie leading the play, and Scout happy to play along.
  The words from the Poe song came into my mind. To Scout, architecture is communication. He expresses many things with how he builds, the patterns, the shapes, the complexity. It is a new language for me, but I am trying to learn it. I am so proud of a big sister that tries to listen to and learn his language too. Even though he frustrates her at times, she still tries to communicate with him, and always includes him in everything, letting him tag along to play with friends and ride bikes. I hope someday he will understand all that she gives up for him and all that she does for him. She is without a doubt his best friend. The first words he says a lot of days when he wakes up are, "Where's Valkyrie?"
  As I watched her try to learn his language and his play, I felt so proud of the compassion she has in her. I told her how important she was to him, that she's like his "play therapist." We named her Valkyrie, knowing that she had a valiant and brave spirit. The Valkyries of Norse mythology rode winged horses to the battlefields to take the soldiers to Valhalla. Our brave Valkyrie rides on her own angel wings to carry her wounded brother to a place where he is safe and loved-  her heart. He never doubts that his big sister is there for him. As I mentioned in my first blog post, when Scout stepped up and told God to "bring it on," I stepped up beside him. I know that my little Viking girl stepped up eagerly by his side too, and assured him she would look out for him.

  I thank all of those who also stepped up, and who step up now, to look out for him. I thank those who are trying desperately to learn his language. If we try to see it through his eyes, to see that communication is architecture, and that he has been trying to show us his world all along, we will learn. It takes looking as well as listening. But most importantly, it takes feeling.